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Living the dream is published on the 27th of every month by Tania Basheer of Blue Sky Coaching.
by Tania Basheer, Publisher

10 Ways to Increase Your Confidence

Vol 4, Issue 1
27 January 2008

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Quote of the month

'No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Next month's feature:

10 Tips for Talking and Listening to Each Other

In this issue:


Welcome to Living the dream, Blue Sky Coaching's monthly e-zine, written to inform, inspire and invite you to take action and start living your dream.

If you enjoy reading this e-zine, please feel free to share it with anyone else you think might enjoy it too.

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Hi! from Tania

Hi there,

Happy New Year!

Is it just me, or does it seem like January's flown by quickly for you too?

I'm thrilled to say my mum's house, which I've been renovating since September last year, sold quickly a few weeks ago, even before going to auction, and for a great price, so my year is off to a good start. All that's left to do is have a shed installed, which I'm assured will happen soon. I hope so, given I paid the deposit in October last year!  

Now I'm looking forward to renovating our own kitchen and making it more child-friendly. We'll be knocking down a wall or two and having a built-in bench installed, so we can eat our meals together at the table, now Jake's old enough to join us, instead of eating in front of the TV.

While I'm waiting for tradesmen to get back to me, I thought I'd start with oragnising the inside of our kitchen cupboards, so I'm having a Tupperware party at home this morning to buy lots of cute storage containers. I'm sure I just heard Rick say 'oh-oh,' even though I know he's at the cricket.

Warm wishes,


Tania Basheer - Publisher
Living the dream e-zine

Feature: 10 Ways to Increase Your Confidence

Feature: 10 Ways to Increase Your Confidence

Do you have enough confidence to do whatever you'd like to in life?

Does the thought of public speaking make you weak at the knees? How about travelling alone overseas, going to a social event or networking function where you don't know anyone, or asking someone out on a date or a customer for a sale?

When you find yourself in a situation that takes you outside your comfort zone and makes you feel a little shaky, here are ten ways you can increase your confidence, so you'll look and feel ready:   

  • Smile: Ever since I was a little girl, my mum always told me to 'Smile and be confident.' She was right. Smiling can work wonders. You'll not only look happy and confident on the outside, but you'll feel better on the inside too. Physiologically, when we smile, a chemical reaction is produced in our bodies that makes us feel good.   
  • Centre yourself: To help stay calm, practise this centering technique. Focus your attention on your centre-point, which is found just below your navel and breathe deeply. As you do this, you're focusing inside yourself rather than externally and, as a result, you'll feel more balanced. 
  • Be aware of and manage your body language: Your body language can make you appear to be confident. Notice that simply by changing your physical state, you can control your emotions. Stand tall, hold your head up high, relax the muscles in your face, smile and make direct eye contact when you're speaking or listening.   
  • Ask for what you want:  One of my favourite sayings is, 'If you don't ask, the answer is always no.' Or, Ghandi's version of this is 'If you don't ask, you don't get.' Get into the habit of asking for what you want. It gets easier each time and slowly you'll notice your confidence will grow. Start small, for practice, and gradually build your way up to bigger things. If asking for what you want feels uncomfortable to you, notice what might be behind that. Do you have any fears around the outcome - for example, would you be devastated if the person said 'no'? Then again, they might say 'yes' too. Do you feel that you're not truly deserving of what it is you're asking for? Or, were you taught as a child not to ask for anything because that would be rude or selfish? One of the best ways to change a situation is to get clear about, and then ask for, what you want. Once you've done this a few times, it becomes easier to do.   
  • Create a positive self-image: Always hold a mental picture in your own mind of yourself being successful and having the ability to handle whatever comes your way. Unless this is how you see yourself, no-one else will see you in this light. 
  • Rehearse and be well prepared: When you take the time to rehearse and prepare for an important meeting, interview or performance, for example, it allows you to practise creating the outcome that you'd like and to smooth out any bumps. The more you practise or prepare in advance, the more confident you'll feel that things will go smoothly. Visualising a positive outcome is a good place to start.   
  • Challenge your negative thoughts or self-talk: A simple way to do this is to ask yourself: 'Is this negative thought I'm having or my negative self-talk really true?' Another way to deal with these thoughts or feelings is to acknowledge them and then let them go. If you'd like to learn a very powerful technique for releasing negative thoughts or feelings, I highly recommend E.F.T. See my website for more details: 
  • Talk yourself 'into' instead of 'out of' it: Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something before you even attempted it? When you find yourself doing this, ask yourself: 'What else do I need so that I can do this?' Do you need to develop a skill, get additional information or simply accept that being nervous is perfectly normal under the circumstances and be more courageous?
  • Take a risk: Try doing one thing each day that scares you. When you move out of your comfort zone, you'll often feel uncomfortable, but the growth in your confidence and the sense of achievement that follow are great rewards.
  • Take action: Confident, successful people are decisive and action-oriented. When faced with a decison, get clear on the outcome that you want, then make your decision promptly. Don't second-guess your decision or ask for endless reassurances from others before actioning it. Trust in yourself and your ability to make things happen.     

For more business, executive or life coaching tips and strategies to help you achieve your goals and create and live the life you've always wanted, visit: or to find out more about the many ways you can work with me in 2008, go to:, call me at (08) 8338 3134 or feel free to email me on

2008 Intentional Resolutions - Live Teleclasses Start on 5 March

Register now for this fun and inspiring 6-session group tele-coaching series, created especially to help you stay focused on and easily achieve your goals and dreams in 2008.

This fortnightly telecoaching group will commence on Wednesday 5 March 2008, from 8 pm - 9 pm (Adelaide CST).

Special *subscriber only price* of just $198 will be available until midnight, Friday 15 February 2008!

For more information or to register your spot now, please e-mail me on or call me on (08) 8338 3134 to reserve your place at this special *subscriber-only price* available until 15 February 2008.

Summer Special Competition - Enter Now!

Summer Special Competition - Enter Now!

Enter now! This competition will be drawn on Friday 29 February 2008.

Simply click on the competition image to enter for your chance to WIN Finding your passion, a four-CD live lecture series by Cheryl Richardson PLUS a life coaching session with me, valued at over $150!

Christmas Competition Winner: G. Amphlett 

Are You Wearing a Layer of 'Christmas Cheer' That You'd Like to Shed?

Let go of any extra weight you've put on over the holidays with the help of E.F.T.

Learn this powerful and fast technique now and see the real you emerge again in no time. Energy tapping can help you control food cravings, prevent overeating, increase your desire to exercise and help you address and resolve what's eating you, which might be behind those extra kilos or pounds. 

Visit to learn E.F.T. at home with my Energy Tapping Workshop DVD package. Or, call me on (08) 8338 3134 or 0411 471 941 to arrange a one-to-one session with me, in person or by telephone.

p.s. As a subscriber to Living the dream e-zine, you can receive any one of my E.F.T. packages free of postage charges by entering 'ezine' in the promotional code field when you order at:

Next Month: 10 Tips for Talking and Listening to Each Other

Talking to your partner each day is an essential ingredient in a happy, long-lasting relationship.

Actively listening to your partner and being interested in what they have to say, is even more important.

Like most relationship skills, listening and talking to each other properly requires some effort. Next month, we'll look at some techniques worth practising, for men and women, until they become natural.

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Don’t Miss this Attracting and Retaining Talent Master-class in Adelaide

 Designed for HR Managers, State Managers and GMs who want to develop a strategic attraction and retention plan.

14 March 2008, 9 am – 5 pm
EDC, Port Rd, Hindmarsh SA


Facilitated by Bridget Hogg BSc. MSc. Principal Consultant, HR Development at Work, Attraction, Recruitment and Retention Group Convenor (AHRI) and Editor of Dinkum Oil (Adelaide’s free attraction and retention newsletter). 

  • Become part of the fast-forward community and learn from other organisations
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To see what other participants have said about this master-class, please go to

For more details, a booking form, or to book an in-house master-class contact Bridget Hogg, HR Development at Work on (08) 8322 8455. 


Happy New Year! Now What?


This new year did you pledge to:

  • lose weight?
  • manage your budget better?
  • work less and have more fun?
  • exercise more?

Have your New Years Resolutions gone out the window already?

Are you ready to look at a new alternative to achieve every one of your future goals? Then this 4-hour workshop is for you!

For course details, call Anna Macolino at Swift Life Coaching on 0411618808.

Reading this ad? Then why not place yours here. Do you have a product, service or special offer that you'd like to let over six hundred entrepreneurs, SOHO business owners, busy professionals and business executives know about? To find out more about advertising in this e-zine and to reserve your spot for next month, e-mail Tania your details today at and include 'e-zine ad' in the subject line.

Advertising Disclaimer: Blue Sky Coaching does not endorse or represent the accuracy or reliability of any of the advertisements included above or the quality of goods, services or information obtained by you in connection with engaging the services of or purchasing goods from the above suppliers.

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