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10 Ways to Recharge Your Marriage

Living the dream is published on the 27th of every month by Tania Basheer of Blue Sky Coaching.
by Tania Basheer, Publisher

10 Ways to Make Better Decisions

Vol 8, Issue 6
27 June 2012

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Quote of the month

'Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.'

- William Jennings Bryan

Next month's feature:

10 Ways to Re-charge Your Marriage

In this issue:


Welcome to Living the dream, Blue Sky Coaching's monthly e-zine, written for small business owners, young entrepreneurs and service industry professionals and filled with cutting edge success tips to help you skyrocket your income, enjoy more personal time and be known as a star in your field. 

If you enjoy receiving Living the dream e-zine, please pass it on to anyone else you think might like to receive it too. Every 50th subscriber will receive a $50 Myer gift card and so will you, if you were responsible for referring them.

You can read all previous issues of Living the dream e-zine any time at: www.blueskycoaching.com.au/ezine.

Hi! from Tania

Hi there,

Sadly, my beautiful mum passed away earlier this month on the third of June.

She was a strong, smart, creative and talented woman who has inspired me all of my life and always will. I am extremely grateful to have been so enveloped in love and support by my very dear friends, by Rick, Jake and Holly and our extended family, and the caring staff who looked after Mum at Lourdes Valley Nursing Home. 

My mum was an artist and authored several books, all of them dedicated to my dad and me, so today I'm dedicating my e-zine to my late mum and dad. I love you and miss you so much!

Warm wishes,


Tania Basheer - Publisher
Living the dream e-zine

Feature: 10 Ways to Make Better Decisions

Decisions, decisions. Sometimes we rush into making them and can regret it. Other times, they're no-brainers, and we feel great for having made them. 

Then there are the decisions that can hugely impact on our lives, which can be really challenging to make. So, how do you go about making these big decisions?

Sometimes it's only with the benefit of hindsight that we realise there was a better choice we could have made, or at least a different one, with different consequences.

Here are 10 strategies or tools you might like to consider if you're in the process of making a decision:

  1. The Big Decision Tool: This matrix-style thinking tool was created by the founder of the Neuroleadership Group, David Rock. You can see an example of it  in Chapter 6 of his book Personal Best: step by step coaching for creating the life you want.  One of the things that makes this tool work so well is that it brings together values, emotion and logic onto the same page (and into a table, with the options defined down the page, and parameters to be used to assess each option captured across the top of the page). The first phase involves developing clear parameters that will be used to determine your choice.The second phase involves carefully checking your options against your parameters by rating each option out of 10 for each parameter. So, using the example of choosing between several career choices, the options might be human resources, accounting, web design, veterinary science, drama teacher and artist. The parameters to assess each of these might be money, challenge, international, flexibility, fun. The highest scoring career (in this case out of a possible 50 points) will have the highest chance of giving you what you want overall. Sometimes people go with the top number. Other times, they go with a different choice when they realise that in doing this exercise one of the parameters is more important than the others. In some ways, the act of seeing the numbers on paper gets you thinking seriously about whether the choice at the top of the list is right for you.   
  2. Values and vision: Draw out the consequences of making any decision by noticing how it will impact on your values and vision for your life. How aligned is your choice with your core values and vision?  
  3. Intuition: I've found tossing a coin can be used as a way to tap into your intuition in making decisions. To do this, define your dilemma such that there can be a yes or no answer. Then, toss a coin and call 'heads' for yes and 'tails' for no. Notice your immediate internal reaction to the outcome of the toss. How does it feel to you? Does it feel comfortable or uncomfortable? Exciting or frightening? An interesting exercise!
  4. Mindfulness: Our busy lives and minds can obstruct our abilities to make decisions and lead us to procrastinate. No decision is still making a decision! Becoming mindful and  using mindfulness meditation can help us become fully present in the moment, present to  ourselves and our experience of reality, to experience insights not available to us through reflection or analysis. For more information on mindfulness, visit The Mindfulness Centre. 
  5. Essential oils: Did you know essential oils are both psychologically and physically stimulating and can be supportive in making decisions?  Young Living Essential Oils'  'Brain Power' is a blend of essential oils high in sesquiterpenes to give your mind a boost, clarify thought, and develop greater focus. 'Common Sense' blend includes essential oils such as frankincense, ylang ylang and lime and is formulated to enhance an individual's reasonable and rational decision-making abilities, while 'Magnify Your Purpose' stimulates creativity, desire, focus and motivation, encouraging you to seize initiative and overcome procrastination.
  6. Imagine having already decided: Another technique I've found helpful has been to imagine already having made a particular decision. Notice how you're feeling. What are you experiencing in your body? Is it an expansive feeling in your chest or around your heart, or a constricted feeling in your throat, or a knot forming in your stomach? These are all messages from your body allowing you to notice how making the decision will feel and can be useful to guide your choice. 
  7. Find a sounding board: A coach or mentor can act as a sounding board and help you clarify the central dilemma you're grappling with regarding the decision you're wanting to make. Sometimes this is enough to help you resolve the issue. They can also ask you questions about your thinking to help you gain fresh insights about the situation and allow you to see your situation from a new perspective. 
  8. 'The Clarity Of Distance' model: This concept comes from another coaching model created by David Rock and discussed in more detail in his book Quiet Leadership: help people think better - don't tell them what to do! Sometimes the person charged with making a decision is too close: the volume of details they have in mind stops them from seeing the patterns, or their own filters or agendas inhibit them from processing information accurately. Questions that can help make better decisions using the clarity of distance model include: 'How clear is your thinking here? Which part of the decision is the hardest to process? What would make the decision much easier?'
  9. 'Choose Your Focus' model: Many people launch into projects without spending enough time defining their objectives or enough time planning. Using this model (also described in detail in David Rock's Quiet Leadership) is especially helpful when people are lost in the details. Some questions you could ask here are: 'What's your overall goal? What's your vision of the perfect outcome? Do you know where you're trying to get to? Are you clear about your plan for achieving this goal? How well fleshed-out is your plan?'
  10. Take a walk or have a lie-down: According to neuroscientist John J. Ratey and author of A User's Guide to the Brain, any kind of physical activity helps the brain process ideas. And, although this might not sound practical, (unless you work from home like me), a recent study by Darren M. Lipnicki and Don G. Byrne, 'Thinking on Your Back: Solving Anagrams Faster When Supine Than When Standing' (Note to self: play Hanging with Friends from now on while lying instead of sitting on the couch) showed people came up with better ideas while horizontal!

Please call me on 0411 471 941 if you feel you could benefit from working through any of these tools with me.

Interested in using Young Living Essential Oils and/or nutritional products for your health and wellbeing? If yes, for a short time only, until Friday 6 July, I'll be conducting complimentary 30-minute Zyto Compass Bio-Feedback sessions. Call me on 0411 471 941 to book in your session and learn which essential oils or nutritional supplements are the most appropriate for your body's needs right now. 

Read more tips: 10 Tips for Being a Great Leader; 10 Ways to Make Time for Your Life; 10 Ways to Overcome Procrastination; 10 Ways to Tap into Your Intuition; 10 Ways to Create a More Balanced Lifestyle; 10 Ways to Create an Exceptional Life; 10 Ways to Get a Grip on Time; 10 Ways to Get Things Done; 10 Ways to Keep the Small Stuff from Taking Over Your Life; 10 Tips for Transformational Journal Wrtiting;

For more business and life coaching tips to help you achieve your goals and create and live the life you've always wanted, visit: www.blueskycoaching.com.au/ezine/index.php. To find out more about how you can work with me personally, visit: www.blueskycoaching.com.au, or call me on 0411 471 941 or (08) 8338 3134 or e-mail me on tania@blueskycoaching.com.au.


News Flash: My Mentoring Tips to Appear in New Book!

This month I had the pleasure of receiving an e-mail from James A.Rice, Ph.D who is co-authoring a book for the Health Administration Press in Chicago, affiliated with the American College of Healthcare Executives, requesting permission from me to include my 10 Tips for Being a Great Mentor in his new book. 

Needless to say, I'm chuffed!

If you'd like to see my mentoring tips, you can read them here.

Feedback on Living the Dream, by Brooke Garrett

Maybe it's a good thing, but as I don't often receive reader feedback on my Living the Dream e-zine, it was wonderful and heartening for me to receive this very creative e-mail testimonial from one of my amazing clients, Brooke.

Please feel free to pop me your feedback anytime, including any ideas for topics you'd like addressed, or your favourite quote for future issues. And, if you like Living the Dream, please do pass it on to anyone else you think might like it too.

My many thanks Brooke for helping me pull together this month's issue through sharing your creativity and enthusiasm! 

Here's Brooke's e-mail: 

'10 Things I love about Living the Dream e-zine:

1. It is fre.e. But, more importantly, it is informative, uplifting and adds to my lifelong learning, which many magazines on the market do not!

2. The inspirational quote! I love to reflect on this section and often find myself sharing the insights with friends and family, who are now sending me their great quotes too.

3. The back issues links! I started coaching with Tania in 2012 and have loved reading every current issue, however having access to previous issues has provided a wealth of information I might have otherwise missed!

4. The competitions! I have entered the competitions and have recently won an EFT kit including workbook and DVD. I have started using 'tapping' in my day-to-day life with great results and revisit the kit regularly.

5. Tania's editorial! I like to read about Tania's life and the happenings of her family. I also have a young family and I find her authentic approach to sharing her stories and life an uplifting read connected to real life.

6. Additional information, e.g. The raindrop technique - I am always interested in learning about ways to relax, unwind, settle my kids, get better sleep, etc. Tania's tips provide insights I had not even considered, which I also use in my daily life.

7. The digital format. I can share the e-zine with my friends and family quickly and easily!

8. The layout - so easy to navigate and just the right length for reading great information in a short space of time. The blue sky imagery is calming and Tania's photo is also friendly and welcoming. I hear a new layout is on the way. I look forward to seeing it!

9. Access to new literature, great sponsors and relevant advertising.

10. The 10 tips! My absolute favourite! I particularly loved reading the feature article on dealing with difficult people. Just having an understanding of how to deal with people, how to understand people and how to navigate life when obstacles arise has changed my approach to my working relationships with great success.

Thanks Tania, a fantastic addition to your exceptional work!

Brooke Garrett'

Winter Coaching Competition

Winter Coaching Competition - Enter Now!

Enter now for your chance to WIN two business or life coaching sessions with me, plus a copy of Coach yourself into action: How to get what you want with 7 simple strategies by Mary Lou Johns. Prize valued at over $400! 

For all those people who procrastinate, hold back, or are fearful about setting out in new directions, Mary Lou has provided ways to get you moving. She clearly describes a practical and energising set of simple strategies that work.

Autumn Competition Winner: P. Watts

Next Month: 10 Ways to Re-charge Your Marriage

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to attend a course called Bridging the couples chasm with John Gottman and his wife Julie Schwartz Gottman, founders of The Gottman Institute. In it, they  shared many great principles and tools to help couples make their marriages work.

Next month I'll share one of their many exercises aimed at helping married couples re-charge their relationship and remind themselves why they fell in love.

Sponsors and Advertisements


5 Strategies of Mindful Parenting

One Day Introductory Workshop


Every moment with your children can be special if you know how.

Your awareness of your children can go beyond the automatic actions and reactions that often drive your behaviour. You can free yourself from being stuck in guilt, regret, fear and uncertainty. In essence, you can take on life with your children as an adventure in growth and learning and feeling. The hardest part of shifting to a new way of being is becoming aware of those old patterns that so often rule our behaviour.

Mindfulness offers a fresh perspective, a way of changing mental gears, so we can respond to each situation, moment-to-moment.

Topics include:

Communication, Conflict Management and Positive Discipline. 

Time: 9.30 am - 4.30 pm


Saturday 25 August 2012 or Sunday 28 October 2012


Sophia Centre

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$125 including comprehensive workbook

For more information go to: www.mindfulbirth.net.au/workshops/parenting



"A Spiritual Connection"

Weekend Workshop Retreat


Brought to you by Rosalind Sansbury of Nurturing Humanity in partnership with Sue Shaw of ESP Event Management.

When: Friday 9 November 2012 from 6 pm til Sunday 11 November 12.30 pm

Where: Karinga Homestead, Hindmarsh Island SA

This spiritual connection workshop includes meditations and tools to assist in living consciously in your daily life. Sharing knowledge from a place of oneness, connecting to nature and nourishing your physical body. All of these experiences are with the intent that you will leave the workshop with a true sense of PEACE, HARMONY, CONNECTEDNESS and KNOWING.

Topics will include:

  • Who am I?
  • Seeing the light in others
  • Forgiveness - our greatest healing tool
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Your physical body will be nourished with an organic (wherever possible) vegetarian menu and will be caffeine- and alcohol-free, allowing your body to be lighter and enabling connection to your divine essence with greater ease.

Accommodation in unique rooms at the historic Karinga Homestead in either Queen private, Queen in shared room or Single in a shared room.

Prices: from $550 - $650 per head, includes two nights accommodation, all meals and beverages, workshop and workbook.

TO BOOK your place or for more information call Rosalind on 0423 458 008 or email ros@nurturinghumanity.com.au.

Limited places minimum of 6, maximum of 10 people.

50% deposit required to secure your place.

All secured bookings made by 31 July RECEIVE my 'Simple Beginnings' Meditation CD.  



The Health Transition

Sunday 1 July 2012, 9 am - 3.30 pm


It's time to take contol! Improve your body, mind and life.

Adam Murphy from Rejuvenate Health and Fitness will be presenting a day of health, wellness and fitness information covering areas such:

  • nutrition
  • stress management
  • physical load management
  • the right exercise for you
  • positive mindset
  • goal setting, and
  • how to prepare quick, easy and healthy snacks.

Date: 1 July 2012

Time: 9 am - 3.30 pm

Cost: Only $20!

Venue: Primo Estate, 770 McMurtie Rd, McLaren Vale SA

RSVP: Adam to book on 0415 211 740 


Reading this ad? Then why not place yours here. Do you have a product, service, workshop or special offer that you'd like to let hundreds of entrepreneurs, SOHO business owners, busy professionals and business executives know about? To find out more about advertising in this e-zine and to reserve your spot for next month, e-mail Tania your details today at tania@blueskycoaching.com.au and include 'e-zine ad' in the subject line. As a subscriber to this e-zine, you can receive f.ree advertising, based on availability, if you submit your advertising copy to me by the 20th day of the month.

Advertising Disclaimer: Blue Sky Coaching does not endorse or represent the accuracy or reliability of any of the advertisements included above or the quality of goods, services or information obtained by you in connection with engaging the services of or purchasing goods from the above suppliers.

Copyright © 2012, Blue Sky Coaching. ABN 75 739 189 875.