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Living the dream is published on the 27th of every month by Tania Basheer of Blue Sky Coaching.
by Tania Basheer, Publisher

10 Ways to Give Feedback Sucessfully

Vol 8, Issue 9
27 September 2012

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Quote of the month

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

-  Maya Angelou (American Poet, 1928)

Next month's feature:

10 Thoughts to Build Connection with Your Partner

In this issue:


Welcome to Living the dream, Blue Sky Coaching's monthly e-zine, written for small business owners, young entrepreneurs and service industry professionals and filled with cutting edge success tips to help you skyrocket your income, enjoy more personal time and be known as a star in your field. 

If you enjoy receiving Living the dream e-zine, please pass it on to anyone else you think might like to receive it too. Every 50th subscriber will receive a $50 Myer gift card and so will you, if you were responsible for referring them.

You can read all previous issues of Living the dream e-zine any time at: www.blueskycoaching.com.au/ezine.

Hi! from Tania

Hi there,

As a proud Crows supporter, it was such a shame to see the Crows miss a spot in the AFL grand final this year by less than a goal. What an amazing, close game!

However, as a coach, for me it was great to hear the Crows' coach, Brenton Sanderson's response to their loss, immediately after the game when the team looked so visibly devastated: 'I could not be prouder, not just of their effort tonight, but the whole season.' 

How wonderful to acknowledge his players like that when they so needed to have their spirits lifted. That's great coaching!  

Warm wishes,


Tania Basheer - Publisher
Living the dream e-zine

Feature: 10 Ways to Give Feedback Successfully

It's not just what you say, but how and when you say it that can make all the difference in the world when giving feedback.

A lot of my work as a coach and a coach mentor involves giving feedback to my clients, so here are my top 10 tips for giving feedback successfully:

  1. Positive language: Use words that express your message in a positive way. For example, 'What worked well is ... and what could have worked better is ...'
  2. Think win/win and remember the big picture: Look for win/win opportunities when delivering feedback. The Crows coach Brenton Sanderson did this really well when he said after the Crows preliminary final narrow defeat: 'I could not be prouder, not just of their effort tonight, but the whole season.' 
  3. Be aware of your body language: Manage your body language so it doesn't distract from your message, for example, face the person you're speaking to, make eye contact with them and don't fidget or play with objects, like your pen.
  4. Be supportive: Encourage an open two-way discussion so the recipient of your feedback feels comfortable talking about the issue. For example, say 'Please feel free to jump in with any questions or comments you might have at anytime.'  
  5. Be specific and succinct: Don't be general when giving feedback. Give specific examples to illustrate what you mean. Also, don't pad what you need to say with waffle. Be clear and get to the point quickly so your message isn't lost or diluted.  
  6. Be tactful: Choose the right time and place to give your feedback. For example, one-to-one in a private setting and not in a team or board meeting. 
  7. Be sensitive: About 20% of the population are highly sensitive people and another 20% are moderately sensitive, so show sensitivity in your conversation. You could start by asking 'Would it be OK if I gave you some feedback about ..?'  
  8. Make it timely and frequent: Don't wait several months before giving feedback. To be most effective give feedback as soon as possible.
  9. Keep it balanced: Never deliver a barrage of negative feedback. If you provide feedback on a timely and frequent basis you'll be able to avoid this happening. Always look for the good things that you can acknowledge as well. 
  10. Check for understanding: To be sure that your feedback has been fully understood, ask the person what they're taking away from your conversation. 

Read more tips: 10 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationships; 10 Relationship Skills for the Almost Perfect Marriage; 10 Tips for Finding Your Soul Mate; 10 Tips for Meeting a Great Partner; 10 Ways to Enjoy Your Relationships; 10 Tips for Talking and Listening to Each Other; 10 Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship; 10 Ways to Have a Hot Relationship; 10 Tips for Successful Conflict Resolution10 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People.

For more business and life coaching tips to help you achieve your goals and create and live the life you've always wanted, visit: www.blueskycoaching.com.au/ezine/index.php. To find out more about how you can work with me personally, visit: www.blueskycoaching.com.au, or call me on 0411 471 941 or (08) 8338 3134 or e-mail me on  tania@blueskycoaching.com.au.


Tap into the Power of Acknowledgement

One of the many tools professional coaches use, due to it's powerful impact, is acknowledgement. And, a great place to start with acknowledgement, is acknowledging ourselves.

In her book The Power of Acknowledgement, Judith Umlas says:

 'It is likely that acknowledgement can improve the emotional and physical health of both the giver and the receiver. There is already substantial scientific evidence that gratitude and forgiveness help well-being, alertness and energy, diminish stress and feelings of negativity, actually boosting the immune system. It is reported that they can even reduce the risk of stroke and heart failure. This research leads us to believe that acknowledging others has similar effects.'

A simple way to tap into this powerful practice of self-acknowledgement is by keeping an 'Acknowledgement Journal' and taking a few moments each day to write down something you'd like to acknowledge yourself and/or others in your life for. You can use any blank journal for this ritual and call it your acknowledgement journal. I use  Intrinsic's Ancient Wisdom Cafe Journal with the beautiful note on the front cover, 'Let each day hold a little space to create, to dream, to be more of who you truly are.'  Check out the Intrinsic Online Store to see some of their other beautiful journals.

Young Living Essential Oil Sample Bottle Giveaway!

Receive a 2ml Young Living essential oil sample bottle (choose from 36 single oils or oil blends) with your 1:1 EFT session or any DVD package purchased before 31 October.

I've also been diffusing Young Living essential oils in my consulting room during both EFT and coaching sessions to share the health-promoting benefits of these amazing essential oils with my clients. 

Visit my EFT website now for details about how you can learn to use EFT quickly and easily, anywhere, anytime, and start making positive changes in your life. 

I'm available for personal consultations in person or by telephone or by Skype on Thursdays and Fridays between 10 am and 5 pm (Adelaide).

Please call me on (08) 8338 3134 or 0411 471 941 to discuss your needs and/or to book in a time.

Spring Coaching Competition

Spring Coaching Competition - Enter Now!

Shift Happens!

Drawn 23 November!

Enter now for your chance to WIN two business or life coaching sessions with me, plus a copy of Shift happens! How to live an inspied life starting right now! by Robert Holden, Ph D.

Prize valued at over $400! 

In his book Shift happens! Robert Holden, Ph D., shares a powerful mix of principles and exercises - from his private coaching practice - that can create real breakthroughs in your life.

Written in a short essay style, Robert shows you how to tap into the inner gold of your true nature, unblock yourself, release fears, drop the struggle, transform relationships and live a happier life.

Winter Competition Winner: D. Woolley

Next Month: 10 Thoughts to Build Connection with Your Partner

When we feel angry, stressed or distant from our partners we often focus on their negative characteristics.

Next month, I'll share ten thoughts based on a great exercise from The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver to get us back into the habit of thinking positively about our partner and rebuilding a sense of connection. 

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Hands-on Cooking Classes by Cooks In Your Kitchen

Classes utilising your thermomix


13 October - Sweet Patisserie Class

Menu includes: Sweet pastry, white chocolate cheesecake, cinnamon scrolls, chocolate caramel tarts and choc-orange cake. Cost $110 pp

3 November - Steaming Class

Menu includes: Roast beef, stir fry, Asian-inspired fish, baguettes, crio bru creme brulee. Cost $110 pp

These classes go for 5 hours, from 12 pm to 5 pm  - are hands-on - and you take home everything that you make!

They'll be held at Urrbrae Agricultural High School, Cross Road, Highgate SA.

A Spring Feast and Festive Delights

Menu includes: Hugh's best ever guacomole, spring vegetable ragout, chestnut and almond praline truffles and the ultimate (fruit) mince pie with sweet shortcrust pastry. Will also include a Heston Blumenthal-inspired slow braised oxtail served for dinner!

This cooking class is in conjunction with Hugh Flint from 'Hughsli.' Cost $100 pp - places are limited.

24 October - 6.30 pm - 10.30 pm at St George College, Mile End SA

Private and specialty classes also available. For more details and tickets visit www.eventbrite.com or contact Cooks in The Kitchen on 0414 444 081 or email admin@cooksin thekitchen.com.au 




Mind Body Spirit Festival

Half-Price Ticket - Save $9*


Saturday 29 September - Monday 1 October

Adelaide Showgrounds, Jubilee Hall B

Open 9 am - 6 pm Daily

Finally Australia's biggest natural health and wellbeing event comes to Adelaide!

Lots to see and do - experience and sample thousands of wellbeing products and services that will get you glowing and feeling fantastic. Be enlightened with a psychic reading from one of Australia's leading psychics, attend seminars, discover complementary medicines, natural health, organics, nutrition, massage, try yoga, spirituality, astrology and much more.

Download the full Adelaide seminar program here.

Love your body. Love your mind. Love your Spirit.


* Valid on full price adult entry only. Email me on tania@blueskycoaching.com.au and I will send you a half-price gift voucher to use, courtesy of my friend and fellow EFT trainer and Certified Access Bars Facilitator, Bernice Vergou.


Reading this ad? Then why not place yours here. Do you have a product, service, workshop or special offer that you'd like to let hundreds of entrepreneurs, SOHO business owners, busy professionals and business executives know about? To find out more about advertising in this e-zine and to reserve your spot for next month, e-mail Tania your details today at tania@blueskycoaching.com.au and include 'e-zine ad' in the subject line. As a subscriber to this e-zine, you can receive f.ree advertising, based on availability, if you submit your advertising copy to me by the 20th day of the month.

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